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| The original hand made "That' Rare!" Model No.2 Rocking Horse Poo should provide you with many years' satisfactory ownership providing you neither throw it away nor set fire to it.. It is unconditionally guaranteed to be a Model No.2 and not genuine rocking horse poo...(that really is rare). Each Model No.2 is individually tuned during assembly for maximum motions and will work best on a smooth, flat surface. If you find it won't rock properly, then you have probably got it upside down. Do not eat it or attempt to flush it down the toilet; Not ever. This is a stable product, getting more common all the time - and when poosh comes to shovel, can be relied upon to raise a smile without attracting too many flies. I thank you. | ||
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Public announcement:- Rod McCaffery was the first person on the planet to pay good money for Rocking Horse Poo. Arthur Chaplin was the second. |
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"Guitar Widow" (©1995 Steve Acworth).
She trails into my guitar-fixing workshop in tow behind the customer. She is, by now, expert at keeping the lip buttoned. She looks imploringly at the boy-man's guitar case, hoping against hope that he's forgotten to put the offending instrument in it; she looks at the watch, wishing it was tomorrow; she looks around the workshop walls for the tell-tale signs of an incinerator door... and then she looks at me. She's another "guitar widow". It's not like being a vet or a Kwik-fit mechanic, this job. In those circumstances, the bothersome object in need of attention is subject to everyone's wishes of positive well-being. Here we have a crisis of faith! She knows she loves him - but she also knows that deep down inside him, even though he would strongly deny it, there is a spark that fizzles along, poking at his soul, whispering the ''S'' word in his ear. Stardom. Stardom. It's there - always. The denials, I can affirm, come thick and fast. He spends so much time never quite getting in tune but carrying on playing anyway. He doesn't respond to speech. He always plays the same thing, always with that over-reverberated horribly duff tone. His mates are the same. He has all of the magazines. He's read all of the books. She looks over to me and her eyes cry "Help!"... I must grasp the nettle; quickly the dream breaks - "Guitar Widow, then?", I greet. She smiles. Somebody understands. We are on it. Now, we can start work...
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But now for something completely different...
"That's Rare!" Rocking
Horse Poo (No.2 Model)
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Phone to order this novelty table top toy (UK only): 01545 570668 |
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